When I first started college, the fear of missing out (FOMO) was something I thought I would constantly struggled with when I first arrived at Amherst. During high school I used to scroll through social media, watching friends attend events I wasn’t at, or hear my peers talk about gatherings I didn’t go to, and wonder if I was doing something wrong. But over time, I realized that not every missed event was a missed opportunity, and my college experience became richer when I stopped worrying about what I wasn’t doing and started appreciating what I was.
Background
In high school, I was the type of person who always wanted to go out with my friends, but I often found myself held back by work and other responsibilities. I was focused on staying ahead academically and making sure I was on track to get into a good college. Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t constantly buried in my books. I did go out and have fun, but whenever I missed a hangout or event, I’d show up to school the next day feeling left out as my friends raved about everything that had happened, from weekend hangouts to homecoming night.
However, as junior and senior year rolled around, I started to shift my mindset. I began adopting healthier thought patterns that helped me manage those feelings of missing out. This change not only improved my high school experience, but it also made my transition to college much smoother when it came to dealing with FOMO.
Understanding FOMO
I feel like FOMO often stems from the pressure to make the most out of college. It’s easy to feel like you have to be everywhere, meet everyone, and do everything. But this mindset can be exhausting and even isolating. The truth is, college is about finding balance, building meaningful relationships, and pursuing your passions—none of which require you to be present at every social event. I’m not saying do go out and have fun, live a little, but do feel bad staying in on a weekend and relaxing.
Here’s What Changed For Me:
Prioritizing My Well-being: I learned that rest and personal time are just as important as socializing. When I started prioritizing my mental and physical health, I found I was more present and engaged during the moments that truly mattered.
Finding My Circle: I connected with people who shared similar interests and values. Instead of trying to be everywhere, I focused on building deeper connections with a smaller group of friends.
Embracing Solitude: I discovered that alone time isn’t lonely time. Some of my most fulfilling moments in college have been solo study sessions at the library, walks around campus, or journaling in my dorm.
Being Intentional with My Time: I started attending events that genuinely interested me, rather than going out just because others were. This made my social experiences more enjoyable and meaningful.
Limiting Social Media Consumption: Social media often presents a highlight reel of everyone’s lives. Limiting my time on these platforms helped me focus more on my own experiences rather than comparing them to others’.
Overcoming FOMO didn’t happen overnight, but once I let go of the pressure to be everywhere, I found more joy in where I was. College is about your unique journey, and sometimes, the best moments are the ones you experience when you’re not trying to do it all.