Okay, so this one isn’t exactly Amherst-specific… but if we’re being honest, it is deeply relatable. At some point, we’ve all found ourselves in class — laptop open, brain slightly fried — and suddenly down a rabbit hole of Google searches that have absolutely nothing to do with the PowerPoint slide in front of us. This little blog is the result of a totally normal, academically responsible day (cough cough) where I decided to document the completely random, probably concerning things I Googled during class instead of, you know, paying attention. Enjoy this mildly chaotic digital diary — no judgment, just vibes.
9:06 AM — “how to stop yawning without drinking coffee”
Because I was already three sips into a lukewarm iced latte that tasted like academic despair, and it wasn’t working. I was trying to be respectful by not yawning every 2.4 seconds… but my body said no.
9:44 AM — “how to stop hiccuping in class quietly”
A hiccup snuck up on me during a dead silent moment. I tried holding my breath. Nothing worked. The girl next to me definitely thought I was glitching.
10:12 AM — “healthy dorm room snacks”
I was feeling inspired — you know, planning my responsible Whole Foods-core era. I ended up ordering a party-sized bag of Red 40-coated chips from Amazon. Progress?
11:01 AM — “NYT Connections” and “Wordle of the Day”
Self-care looks like solving four little colored squares instead of understanding a four-way factorial ANOVA. I don’t make the rules.
11:37 AM — “apple pencil dupe for iPad air”
My $12 stylus finally gave out after its sixth emotional breakdown this week. I refuse to pay $90+ for the real one. So there I was, comparing reviews on Amazon mid-lecture like a tech-savvy raccoon.
12:24 PM — Logged into the Mammoth Mobile app
It was time to make the most important decision of the day: Val lunch or Grab n Go. This is a high-stakes moment that requires data, focus, and intense internal debate. I chose wrong.
1:03 PM — “how many times can you say ‘sorry’ in one email before it gets weird”
Drafting an email to my professor and realized I had already written “sorry” three times. Considered replacing one with “apologies” for variety. (this google search also took me to a reddit thread LOL)
1:19 PM — “how do you spell definitely”
I am 19 years old. I am in college. I still type “definately” first every single time.
3:36 PM — “Why did this squirrel start following me”
DO I SMELL LIKE FOOD or does the squirrel know my class schedule and is silently judging me.
So… did I learn anything during class. (YES I DID I SWEAR) Did I engage in critical self-discovery through chaotic Google searches? Absolutely.
The truth is, college is a beautiful mess of trying your best, zoning out for just a second (and suddenly it’s 20 minutes later), and still managing to find your way. We all have our off days, off weeks, off… semesters (?). And if the worst thing I did was Google “how to stop yawning without coffee” while quietly hiccuping in a lecture hall, I think I’m doing just fine.
Let this blog serve as a gentle reminder that perfection isn’t the goal — showing up (physically, emotionally, or just with your laptop open) is enough. And hey, if you ever want to know what’s for lunch at Val, I definitely already checked.